Nayka News: FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH

Namaste from your favorite Tantra dakini, mentor and friend, NAYKA . . .

"God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly, not one. " Rumi

"The cure for pain is in the pain. Good and bad are mixed. If you don't have both, you don't belong with us." Rumi

In many spiritual texts of all faiths, the use of water can often foreshadow a series of important events or dreams that may come forth. I believe that I had such an event only a few weekends ago when I took my women's group up to Bolten Landing, NY to experience an event known as "Extreme Action Adventure." Once there, we received a harness to which we attached ourselves to zip lines and weaved in between trees, rope courses, rock climbing and various obstacles that left our bodies dangling over 60 feet in the air. Knowing that at any point you can accidentally forget to clip yourself to the safety line and fall to your death, this places an increased demand on your ability to focus, trust yourself, breathe deeply and go for it. The day that our group was there though, it began to down pour heavily, and the only time that they take a group off the course is when there is lightning. So with rain pouring down on me, I started the course. I remember fear overcame me as I have never been a huge fan of heights and have avoided roller coasters, sky diving jaunts, and ferris wheels due to my fear. Seeing that I was the group organizer though, I could surely not decide to duck out and not at least attempt the course.

Moment by moment, you are left to reach over every obstacle and the course becomes an inner dialogue between yourself, your spirit and your body. Keeping centered at all times is crucial, and your ability to make rational decisions can make the difference between you slipping or going forward. It was increasingly made difficult to accomplish due to the constant rain. My clothes were soaked through and my sneakers were like slippery glass at every step. I had watched grown men further on be brought down crying because the course is that hard. Even during this course, I began to think that this wasn't much different than how my life has been. Learning to trust my own judgement, face my inner fears, and keep myself balanced has translated not only from this action course but in the adventures of my life and events.

So in deeper reflection this week, I had to ask myself why the Universe/God chose to interrupt my reverie of deep peace with my now-regularly enjoyed laid back life here in upstate NY with yoga, meditation, cooking(I'm a secret Nigella fan), writing, movie watching, book reading, and the building of many close friendships in such a short period of time, "Why now God?" I was just starting to finally get deeper into a spiritual practice and be surrounded by wonderful people. Why have the events unfolded as they have this week?

This brings me to another spiritual lesson that starts out actually being my younger sister's original spiritual lesson for herself. She had just returned back from Colorado and had done a week long workshop working with horses as a means of doing social work for children. One of the tasks that they give the participants is to pick a horse out of the stable and work with it for a few days in achieving certain tasks together. At the end of the three days, the group came together and the moderators asked how it went. My sister broke down crying explaining that the horse that she picked out didn't seem to respond to her and kept to himself in his stall without coming out of it that easily. She shared that she had tried many techniques but that none of them seemed to work with the horse and she was very frustrated.

The moderators asked her why she didn't select a different horse, an easier horse to work with. There was, afterall, an entire stable full of horses.

My sister replied, "I guess I wanted to work with the troubled horse. I thought I could help it somehow."

The moderators then asked her if she tended to go after jobs, relationships or friendships to which could sometimes be emotionally taxing and difficult to work with. They asked her why she didn't just go with what was easier? Was she attracted to the difficult parts of herself and her life? She finally looked at her life and realized that yes, she tended to do just this. At this moment, the horse that had refused to work with her made a lot of noise from the stable and my sister was able to easily get the horse to walk out to her.

When I listened to my sister's recent epiphany, I saw in myself the same tendency. I would have gone for the horse that no body would have wanted to work with. Did this really equate to a flaw in which I was torturing myself by going after things that perhaps were made much more difficult for myself? Certainly in evaluating my last long term relationship, living with and dating an Indian-Muslim man who was expected to most likely follow an arranged marriage, was setting myself up for something more difficult than most. (PS. I learned this week that he did, indeed, get married by arrangement) Still, in accepting that I could indeed just "follow the bliss" as a path to instant love and ease about life, I felt as though something was terribly off in my acceptance of this.

In lieu of all of the recent events, I have always stuck to the statement that this work was not indeed my choice but that of a higher power. I simply want to be a writer.

I look up at God all of the time and state, "But I think you have me mixed up with someone else! I'm not any good at this. I would much rather be preparing to head to the Bread Loaf Writers Conference if you'd consider it..."

"No, you're the One."

"Nooo, no, I'm sure you can find someone else for this type of work. Someone more qualified to guide correctly the path towards Love."

His reply is always the same:

"If I was to come down today for a visit, I would go to the places where people need me most rather than to the places people think they'll find me."

My mind always starts to race around a bit at this point. The years and years of various "characters" to which my path has brought me in front of. I always wondered how I went to Europe only to come back and be thrown into "The Raisin Girls Club"(A Tori Amos song reference) Then I get a smirk with His answer:

"I know how to utilize marketing as well, my dear one..."

So on the day that the paper came out, I was in a therapy office talking about the horse. I was fixated on the question of whether or not MAN/WOMAN is indeed responsible for their own suffering by leaning towards a path that may indeed prove to be harder in the long run. Should we, as humans, love and give ourselves to people or causes that may prove to be terribly hurtful, rejecting, wasteful and unavailable to us? Is there such a thing as an unsaveable soul? Are we making our lives harder than they must be?

And then an image flashed before me. It was of me on one end of the stable with the horse at the other end. I knew that years and years of my walking towards difficult moments, difficult situations, and difficult people was just simply who I was. I continued walking to the end of the stable and when I looked inside, I saw Jesus laying there next to the horse. He told me that he knew I'd pick that one. And that because I was the kind of person who would pick the horse that no body wanted to work with, I understood true love. For in this type of love, we must love even despite all of the problems, issues, difficulties and rejections. That sure you can choose an easier path in life, but you will not reap any of the benefits of what it can mean to leave your Heart wide open for EVERYTHING to come on in.

The last part of my spiritual thinking this week included watching the DVD, GOD and BUDDHA: A Conversation with Deepak Chopra and Robert Fulman. I am ecstatic to share that you can watch the entire video online here: http://www.guba.com/watch/3000056049

What is discussed is the age old question of "Why we suffer and how can we eliminate it from our lives?" From the VEDIC tradition, there are five reasons as to why we suffer:

1) We do not know the true nature of our reality
2) We cling to things that are transitory, insubstantial, unknowing, and ultimately, not real.
3) We have a deep rooted fear of all that is not real.
4) We identify with a false sense of self or identification through the Ego.
5) We fear Death.
***That all of these five are really just in essence the same as #1.

Robert Thurman then goes on to share that in the Buddhism tradition, the beliefs are of the exact same thing. That indeed from our fears, we have left "seeds of consciousness" to which is planted in our actions, our fears, and our reactions to that of all we fear. And that due to the fact that we do not know the true nature of our reality (aka: that we ARE LOVE, can love, etc) we suffer as a consequence. The reason why we like "falling in love" so much is that we get a sense that we are not all alone in fighting the unsuredness of the Universe. Having someone next to us makes us feel "temporarily secured." However, if we were to really truly realize that we are ALREADY LOVE, flaws and all, then it would not require the assistance of others to validate that fact for us. We would simply BE LOVE and the energy reflected would indeed give us that back.

I do believe that if you watch the entire video, you will learn more valuable lessons about Love, Life and God. I know that this was the perfect video for me this week.

We do not know the true nature of our reality.

But at least I am trying to. As I know all of you are too.

Thank you for all of your wonderful emails and calls of support. Due to recent issues, I am now in need of starting a "Church of Love Tantra" so that we can all practice Tantra freely as a divine, legitimate practice of Love. This is NOT prostitution folks. OPEN YOUR MINDS and do some research. Since when did we need to regulate the ability to Love, give love, share love, teach love.

And WHO in the world would be given the authority to determine under which ways we can experience it?

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" --Mark 8:36.

Feel free to contact me directly in the morning hours to schedule!