Embracing the Warrior's Lesson

Namaste from your favorite Tantra dakini, mentor and friend, NAYKA.....

What we are about to undertake is an expedition together, a journey of discovery into the most secret recesses of our consciousness. And for such an adventure we must travel light, we cannot burden ourselves with opinions, prejudices, conclusions that is, with all the baggage we have collected over the past two thousand years or more. Forget everything you know about yourself; forget everything that you have thought about yourself; we are going to set off as if we know nothing.

----Krishnamurti

Please excuse my delay in sending you a newsletter last week. In the span of one week, I caught bronchitis that knocked me out completely with the worst "in-bed" illness that I've experienced in years. Then while in bed one day, I was called my family relatives in Springfield , Massachusetts regarding the sudden hospitalization of my grandmother. Coincidentally, it was on the one year anniversary of my father's death only one year ago. I found myself bundling myself in layers, driving back to the very town my parents left thirty years ago and found myself in the ICU unit surrounded by nearly 30 relatives, some I hadn't seen since my childhood years. I wrote about my notorious grandmother years ago:

One could argue that I had been doomed to be conflicted from the very beginning, seeing that my bloodline was a battle started long ago. My grandmother Irene, a sour patch-sucking, Rummy card player who won out my allowance every time she visited my family, shared with me my heritage upon beating me at the age of seven at a hand of cards. Seeing my small face churn red at my loss, and knowing that my grandmother fully intended to keep the money I brought to the table (only to further fuel her candy-sucking habit in which she did not enforce the true meaning of sharing), she remarked that the spunk displayed on my behalf was due to the fact that I was a great-great granddaughter of the wild Buffalo Bill Cody. She shared with me that our theatrical side could be contributed to his love for wild racketeering and sheer confrontation. I would revel in her stories on how he was appointed by General Sheridan, chief scout and guide for the 5th cavalry against the Sioux and Cheyennes . I imagined Bill riding across the Nebraska plains in high glory with his hair riding loose as his horse carried him on. I felt nothing but awe each time my grandmother announced that in eighteen months he killed 4,280 buffaloes, hence earning his nickname. By the time she would get to the part about Buffalo Bill giving up his fighting career for a chance to run the Wild West show, I would lose all my precious pennies in the show behind the kitchen tablecloth in which my grandmother stored her savory wins.

So you see, a surprise visit to the blood relatives of Buffalo Bill Cody was not something I anticipated doing under a 103 degree fever and barely any voice. It was strangely peaceful, and quite a long day indeed, and I was almost dream-like upon the drive home in which I was apparently so tired, I somehow managed to go from 90 West to 87 South and found myself ending up in Woodstock, NY about 60 miles south than my home! I returned home to rest more days here, juggling between meditation over the loss in my life this past year, and watching a lot of Sopranos episodes. Death between the TV and death in my life held two meanings. Wrestling inner demons was apparent in both places but unlike Tony, I was not surrounded by fat-lipped hoodlums to protect me in case someone should come up to me and challenge me.

"Hey. Are you the cousin we haven't seen in awhile?"
(Me shaking my head furiously side to side, no, that's not me!~)

"What happened to your mother? How are your sisters?"
(Me shaking my head furiously side to side, no, that's not me!~)

The past can indeed invade you at any moment in life and force you to deal with things that are still held in your memory, mind, body and soul. We can become so busy in our American lives that we may indeed have every intention of "doing this and seeing that person" but we get swept away in the daily grind, forgetting our higher purpose, forgetting to nourish those closest to us, and thus it will be years later before we look back and see the path behind us, still blazing afire. (Who IS that person behind me? Do I recognize them?)

Sometimes the universe will take us back to our past to finish "unfinished business." We think at the time that we are "going backwards" or perhaps "not growing." We don't realize at the time that THIS is the moment the universe gives us back to make things right again. Not just with those around us, but for ourselves. Perhaps we meet up again with an ex, or a person who was so important to us. We think that we must retreat again to our "former self" thus displaying the same imp-like qualities we may have displayed when we were around them. We don't realize that perhaps the "Universe-God-Goddess-Buddha-Put Your Own Word Here) may be giving us second graces to see our own soul's development for ourselves. Imagine if we could take a snapshot photo of ourselves, the BEFORE and AFTER, of our own soul's Makeover. Just like an Oprah show where we could prance across the stage and she would say with her mic:

"This is Nayka before........and LOOK AT HER NOW!!!!!" (Cheers, ooohhhs, ahhhhs!~ I would do a twirl)

Maybe I should have twirled into that ICU room at the hospital to showcase that although I've been "away" all of these years, I was actually being quite purposeful in metamorphosing myself into the spiritual creature I am today. Sure I saw souls in front of me unchanged, but it doesn't mean that I can't. And in these rare moments in which our past DOES confront us unexpectedly, we can actually use these "test shots" as a gage as to our spiritual development. We then have a measure stick to which we can measure our Love's growth. I left Schenectady, NY years ago because it was a period of time of spiritual death and loss in my life, but like the seasons, things changed, and I recognize that a presence calls me back to a place to which loose ties can now be tied.

I wrote about my hometown years ago and find it meaningful that my cycle has brought me back here. Here is what I wrote then:

If there had been some sort of picturesque, imaginary place to "go and make something of yourself," my parents decided that it was Schenectady , New York . Funny as that may seem to imagine two idealistic dreamers building a life together, there had been plenty of reasons to see promise in this city. It had been a city well familiar with territorial issues, as the five different Indian tribes that had inhabited the area had grown accustomed to giving up portions of its fertile lands to the Dutch, the English, and the French. The Hudson and Mohawk Rivers made it an enticing transportation port between Canada and New York City , bringing with it various interwoven cultures, exports, and trade. Schenectady was where Thomas Edison decided to settle down and create the world's first incandescent light bulb, the phonograph and the motion picture projector. Edison was the founding father of the future General Electric which proudly boasts as having created billions in revenues with its modern day appliances and nuclear reactors. GE, as it would later be familiarly called, became the sun-God that provided thousands of jobs to the bustling, capitalistic engineers who sought comfort from the raw ice-winds that brushed over their cozy Victorian homes that they could now afford. Eventually, GE posted its now famous, colored light bulbs that flashed on and off, facing the direction of the historical stockade, which can still be seen today in ghost-town fashion.

GE provided opportunities for those who dreamed of a better world. Downtown, at the height of its prosperity, bustled with theatergoers who took in some of Broadway's biggest-named stars at Proctor's Theater. In my teenage years, I was given a thorough lecture by my Russian ballet teacher during our rehearsals. Some of the most famous actors and actresses, names I hardly recognized at that age, had stayed in each of the various dressing rooms, named appropriately after cities in New York State. There was city patriotism back then, and each city had something new and exciting to offer. It was Schenectady , though, that my parents had decided upon, and I imagine that the quaint, gingerbread-style Victorian homes satisfied my mother' s longing for a bourgeoisie upbringing and the modern day facade.

Imagine then as I found myself only last night at the infamous Proctor's Theater to see the most fantastic show I've seen in years, the SHAOLIN WARRIORS. http://www.cpaap.com/shaolin.htm There I was, fully recuperated from health, having faced head on my relatives and the past, sitting in the very theater I practically grew up in(I performed my first play there at age 9, every ballet show was here, I graduated high school there, I attended movies with my father there) and now I am sitting here after 15 years of being away from all that I knew. The lights went down, the theater is packed, and a giant silk screen Buddha lights up the stage with about 25 orange-monk dressed clad martial artists dancing wildly around the stage. The show is set by four seasons as the SHAOLIN WARRIORS reveal their discipline of studying martial arts for several hours a day followed by a difficult level of weapons combat and a daily practice of seated meditation known as Ch'an (Chinese for Zen) that calms the body and focus the mind enough to reach a mental state known as Samadhi, or complete mental absorption. Once they reach this place of focus, they are known to be able to take on such challenges of discomfort or pain but do not feel it. I watched these beautiful, colorful warriors break metal swords over their heads, smash sheet rock over their chests and let sword blades slide beneath their rib cages with grace. The perfect blend of music, color, martial art technique, strength and focus tied beautifully to reveal a deeper message about human being's capacity to transcend our physical weaknesses to the stronger spiritual realm. I found it perfect poetry to show us how our souls can endure many things, take on many pains and labors, but we still endure. It was a perfect ceremony to celebrate a more personal "full circle" cycle that existed in my own life. Look at your own life and mark the "full circles" and celebrate your soul's growth and do not fear facing your own moments to which you may measure your soul's growth.

To view this beautiful SOUL-STIRRING show, see a clip here: http://www.cpaap.com/sl-shipin.htm

Another great spiritual realization occurred for me last week. About a year ago, I had been watching an Anderson Cooper special on CNN regarding "The Top 10 Tragic Stories of 2006." There was one story he featured about the dire situation in Africa, particularly in a hospital in GOMA, CONGO. Anderson walked around a hospital filled with refugees (mostly women and children) who have been ravaged by civil war, rapes and torture. The various faces of the sickly children in that hospital left Anderson in tears. When he returned to that hospital the next morning to follow up, many of those children had passed and when he asked the Dr's what they say to the mothers of those deceased children, the doctor replied, "There is no time to say anything. The dead are amongst us always and there is little time for grieving when you are too busy surviving." I was so touched by that story that I immediately researched that organization's hospital (www.HealAfrica.org ) and begged via email to let me come over and reach those women and children. For many months, I was told that it may be very unlikely as there is war going on, visa are difficult to obtain, and mostly medical Dr's are needed. I begged some more, desiring to share Eastern integrative techniques to alleviate the suffering and grief. I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed that I could get there as if there was ANY place on Earth a "HeartacheHelper" could be needed, it was most certainly there! I am happy to report that last week I was given the news that I would be heading over to CONGO during the month of JANUARY to assist HealAfrica.org in their programs and future fundraising. In fact, you will see on my web site and future newsletters my future events to bring awareness of HealAfrica's efforts while at the same time sharing TANTRA and the SACRED ARTS to all those who desire to learn.

So my first fundraising effort for this very dear cause to my heart will include a DECEMBER SPECIAL I'll offer towards ALL private sessions. If you make a donation to HealAfrica's web site in the amount of $100 or greater, you can apply the credit to getting a 3 hour session for the rate of a 2 hour session. Just bring proof of donation made, mention your contribution when scheduling and enjoy 3 hours at the rate of a 2 hour session!

I will also be hosting a PRIVATE TANTRA HAPPY HOUR and lecture in Saratoga Springs, NY, Edison, NJ and Washington, DC within the next 2 months to help raise awareness of this very important cause to me.

Now I consider the month of JANUARY 2008 a lucky one as not only will I have the ability to head to AFRICA but I had already planned to attend a most inspiring WORLD conference of spiritual leaders in DELHI, INDIA this JANUARY 5-8th. I will extend the invitation to ANYONE who would like to attend this conference with me, and perhaps enjoy a few extra days in Agra and Jaipur through my tour company, www.AffordableIndia.COm . Please review this most exciting conference's link at: http://www.worldcongressps2008.org/ Please call my office in the mornings to discuss your interest in attending the conference!

The bad news is that I will essentially NOT be available for private sessions during the entire month of JANUARY. However, I AM available during Thanksgiving, XMAS breaks and will resume a normal schedule again by February. That also means LONDON and LOS ANGELES will be waiting a bit longer now due to AFRICA/INDIA plans.

Here is my TRAVEL schedule for private one on one or couples sessions in your area:

• NOVEMBER 19-21: Capital Region (Albany, NY area)
• NOVEMBER 22: OFF for Thanksgiving break
• NOVEMBER 23-24: CAPITAL REGION
• NOVEMBER 26-28: BOSTON, MA
• NOVEMBER 29-DECEMBER 4: Capital Region(Albany, NY)
• DECEMBER 5: EDISON, NJ
• DECEMBER 6: PHILADELPHIA, PA
• DECEMBER 7: BALTIMORE, MD
• DECEMBER 8-10: WASHINGTON, DC
• DECEMBER 12-13: ATLANTA
• DECEMBER 14-15: NASHVILLE, TN
• DEECEMBER 16: EDISON, NJ
• DECEMBER 17-DECEMBER 31: Capital Region

I recommend this type of yoga for MEN to try out: http://yoga.about.com/od/bikramyogahotyoga/a/bikram.htm

A MUST see mini-movie to see: http://www.awakeninguniverse.com/

I have NOT forgotten about the SPECIAL LIFE-LONG LOVE HOROSCOPE I am working on for each of the signs. I am still catching up post-sick time at home and am back to my usual energy-filled self. I am THANKFUL for each of your souls entering into my life this year. You have been there with me during my father's death, my breakup, my grandmother's passing, my moves, and my stories. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!