Man of Action

      Most of you might wonder what NAYKA does to unwind and "restore" during her days off, and I must say it is a conscious effort to give back to myself in ways that I am filled with renewed energy, strength and love. Many of you know that I am a lover of horses, and so I am often finding out where the nearest horse stables are. I did locate one about 10 minutes away from my Edison, NJ apartment and was amazed to find that the very land we were riding on was considered a "historic preserve" and yet as we rode, we came across two power plants. Our horse guide smirked when we passed them and proclaimed, "Yeah, we forgive them because they donate a lot of money to the preserve each year!" I was also struck by the sign at the entrance that read: THE STATE OF NEW JERSEY RECOGNIZES THAT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS THE HORSE FARM RESPONSIBLE OR LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES, ACCIDENTS OR INJURIES CAUSED DURING A RIDE OR LESSON. I am always finding things to laugh at while staying in New Jersey, and find it ironic as a native upstate New Yorker, that I may actually settle down here in New Jersey and become an official "Jersey Girl." Even now, I am still in denial about having New Jersey plates and a driver's license!

     My other guilty pleasures include (but not limited to): reading sugary gossip magazines while drinking unlimited French vanilla lattes at any bookstore, eating peanut butter cheesecake from the Cheesecake factory knowing full well it costs $6.50 to consume 1,200 calories at one sitting, shopping for lingerie at Macy's on their ONE DAY sale where everything is 65% off, reading Augusten Burrough's latest book, POSSIBLY SIDE EFFECTS, calling my mother and listening to her stories about getting whistled at in her agricultural work town at the age of 53, taking both of my dogs for long walks, watching the show PLANET EARTH on Discovery, listening to ELVIS and NIYAZ on my car stereo, and of course, watching films and favorite TV shows on TV. But here is where the dilemma begins……………..

 I share my Edison, NJ with a male roommate. We both love having the remote control. Sometimes he wins, sometimes I win. This Saturday, I was able to convince him to watch MOULIN ROUGE, a burlesque-like love story based in 1900 PARIS. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0203009/) In this story, the lead is a Bohemian-writer who falls for the Moulin Rouge's lead show courtesan, plated by Nicole Kidman, and convinces her that despite being a poor writer, and not the wealthy Duke, he has more to offer her in terms of real LOVE. Meanwhile, my roommate kindly interrupted the movie mid-way and asked me if it was ok if we watched a portion of a "Big Fight" that was playing on SPIKE TV. Apparently the fights take place in a cage and men go at each other with a combination of boxing, wrestling and Brazilian jujitsu. At one point, a sign flashes across the screen calling the current champion a MAN OF ACTION. By demolishing his opponents to possible near death, he is considered the winner of this title. That got me thinking about what does it really mean to be a MAN OF ACTION in terms of sexuality, love and relationships? In the Sanskrit texts, is there such a title given to a man, and if so, what would he need to do in order to earn it?

 According to The Kama Sutra of Vatsayayana, Sir Richard Burton, translator [1883], it states that a Man of Action must: Whatever is done by a man for giving pleasure to a woman is called the work of a man, and is as follows:

       While the woman is lying on his bed, and is as it were abstracted by his conversation, he should loosen the knot of her undergarments, and when she begins to dispute with him, he should overwhelm her with kisses. Then when his lingam is erect he should touch her with his hands in various places, and gently manipulate various parts of the body. If the woman is bashful, and if it is the first time that they have come together, the man should place his hands between her thighs, which she would probably keep close together, and if she is a very young girl, he should first get his hands upon her breasts, which she would probably cover with her own hands, and under her armpits and on her neck. If however she is a seasoned woman, he should do whatever is agreeable either to him or to her, and whatever is fitting for the occasion. After this he should take hold of her hair, and hold her chin in his fingers for the purpose of kissing her. On this, if she is a young girl, she will become bashful and close her eyes. Anyhow he should gather from the action of the woman what things would be pleasing to her during congress.

Here Suvarnanabha says that while a man is doing to the woman what he likes best during congress, he should always make a point of pressing those parts of her body on which she turns her eyes.

The signs of the enjoyment and satisfaction of the woman are as follows: her body relaxes, she closes her eyes, she puts aside all bashfulness, and shows increased willingness to unite the two organs as closely together as possible. On the other hand, the signs of her want of enjoyment and of failing to be satisfied are as follows: she shakes her hands, she does not let the man get up, feels dejected, bites the man, kicks him, and continues to go on moving after the man has finished. In such cases the man should rub the yoni of the woman with his hand and fingers (as the elephant rubs anything with his trunk) before engaging in congress, until it is softened, and after that is done he should proceed to put his lingam into her.

The acts to be done by the man are:

Moving forward
Friction or churning
Piercing
Rubbing
Pressing
Giving a blow
The blow of a boar
The blow of a bull
The sporting of a sparrow

When the organs are brought together properly and directly it is called 'moving the organ forward'.

When the lingam is held with the hand, and turned all round in the yoni, it is called 'churning'.

When the yoni is lowered, and the upper part of it is struck with the lingam, it is called 'piercing'.

When the same thing is done on the lower part of the yoni, it is called 'rubbing'.

When the yoni is pressed by the lingam for a long time, it is called 'pressing'.

When the lingam is removed to some distance from the yoni, and then forcibly strikes it, it is called 'giving a blow'.

When only one part of the yoni is rubbed with the lingam, it is called the 'blow of a boar'.

When both sides of the yoni are rubbed in this way, it is called the 'blow of a bull'.

When the lingam is in the yoni, and moved up and down frequently, and without being taken out, it is called the 'sporting of a sparrow'. This takes place at the end of congress.

When a woman acts the part of a man, she has the following things to do in addition to the nine given above:

The pair of tongs
The top
The swing

When the woman holds the lingam in her yoni, draws it in, presses it, and keeps it thus in her for a long time, it is called the 'pair of tongs'.

When, while engaged in congress, she turns round like a wheel, it is called the 'top'. This is learnt by practice only.

When, on such an occasion, the man lifts up the middle part of his body, and the woman turns round her middle part, it is called the 'swing'.

When the woman is tired, she should place her forehead on that of her lover, and should thus take rest without disturbing the union of the organs, and when the woman has rested herself the man should turn round and begin the congress again.

There are also some verses on the subject as follows:

'Though a woman is reserved, and keeps her feelings concealed; yet when she gets on the top of a man, she then shows all her love and desire. A man should gather from the actions of the woman of what disposition she is, and in what way she likes to be enjoyed.

 Indeed there are many "technical" aspects that a man who practices the Kama Sutra must entail. I wager a bet that a lot of "technical points" would be lost in the "bedroom ring" if he were not to be conscious and thoughtful in his intentions and touches with his opponent. (wink) Is lovemaking more complicated than a SPIKE TV MAN OF ACTION Man fight? You bet. What I found ironic about this particular show was how you really couldn't predict who would win the match? It wasn't automatically the guy who was stronger, heavier or skillfully trained. It was generally the person who was patient enough to "feel out" his opponent, read their signs a bit, understand their psychology and weaknesses, and the one who's "mind over matter" did not let them feel the intensity of blows. You could practically read it in their faces, the fighters who used intense spiritual discipline to win the fight versus relying on sheer physical strength. I argue it really is no different a mentality that that displayed in an Eastern lovemaking practice such as the Kama Sutra.

 Another favorite new series of mine is Showtime's THE TUDORS. (http://www.sho.com/site/tudors/home.do) Based on Henry the VIII's reign as king of England, sex escapades and political motivations, I reckon it is one of the hottest and sexiest takes on medieval living to date. I am glued to it every Sunday night feeling guilty for a Sunday night trash fest that excites me more than my previous love for 60 minutes or Dateline. Shouldn't I be more excited to learn more about Baghdad's updates, Dateline's captures, or world leader's interviews? Nope. I am breathless to see what lengths and actions King Henry boy will do to showcase his love for Anne Boleyn. Henry VIII was a real MAN OF ACTION, and albeit quite impulsive in nearly all ways, women swooned for his passionate takes on nearly ALL aspects of his life. Passion speaks to not just a cornerstone of one's life, but in all areas of your life. Tell me: if you had to choose to be a MAN OF ACTION, which of these men's lives would you have chosen?